Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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