i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
