I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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