Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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