She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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