We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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