omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
