Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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