hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
im holly from the hills drunk
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
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My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
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it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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