he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
