nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
