i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
