what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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