Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's shark week go big or go home
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
