wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
