if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
