Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Randomize
