So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
