In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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