We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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