I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
