dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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