I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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