using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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