That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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