i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
