i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
