the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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