walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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