We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
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And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
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I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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