i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
