Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
