I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
