You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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