Already got asked if we're dating
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
