is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
