i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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