Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
