If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
