i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
