I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
