The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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