you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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