what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Life is so much better after having sex.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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