he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
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No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
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In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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