I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
