what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
