How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
