Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
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He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
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You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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