i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
