It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize