I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize