well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
