I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I love you.
Bad choice
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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