Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
