he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Dear god my vagina.
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