Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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