dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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