they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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