Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
