Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
